Islam and Resilience: Nurturing Mental Health Through Faith

Islam and Resilience: Nurturing Mental Health Through Faith

by | Sep 15, 2023 | Mental Health, Self Help, Uncategorised

Islamic resilience

Islam and Resilience: Nurturing Mental Health Through Faith

In today’s fast-paced world, where the challenges of life can often feel overwhelming, the concept of resilience has gained significant attention. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, adapt to change, and maintain mental well-being despite life’s hardships. For many Muslims, their faith in Islam plays a vital role in cultivating resilience and promoting mental health. This article explores how Islam’s teachings and practices can contribute to building resilience and enhancing mental well-being.

Seeking Solace in Faith: One of the cornerstones of Islam is the deep spiritual connection it offers to its followers. The act of turning to Allah (God) in times of distress provides a sense of comfort and solace. Muslims are encouraged to maintain regular prayers (Salah) as a means of seeking guidance and inner peace. This practice helps individuals manage stress and anxiety, promoting a positive mental state.

Patience and Perseverance: The Quran and Hadith (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad) emphasize the value of patience and perseverance in the face of challenges. Muslims are encouraged to remain steadfast and trust in Allah’s divine wisdom. This outlook can help individuals reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth, contributing to enhanced mental resilience.

Community and Support: Islam places great importance on the sense of community (Ummah). The support and empathy offered by fellow believers during difficult times can significantly impact an individual’s mental health. Gathering for congregational prayers, participating in Islamic events, and engaging in acts of charity foster a sense of belonging that combats feelings of isolation.

Mindfulness and Reflection: Islamic practices such as meditation (dhikr) and recitation of the Quran promote mindfulness and self-reflection. Engaging in these practices can lead to reduced stress levels, increased emotional regulation, and a greater sense of well-being. Mindfulness allows individuals to stay grounded in the present moment and manage negative thought patterns.

Positive Moral Values: Islam encourages adherents to cultivate virtues such as gratitude, compassion, humility, and forgiveness. These values contribute to a positive outlook on life, better relationships, and increased emotional resilience. Practicing gratitude, for instance, has been linked to improved mental health and overall life satisfaction.

Balancing Worldly Pursuits: Islam advocates for a balanced approach to life, discouraging excess and promoting moderation. Striking a balance between material pursuits and spiritual well-being can lead to reduced stress, as individuals focus on what truly matters rather than getting caught up in the pressures of the world.

Understand your emotions: Culturally and society dictates we are told to hide our emotions, but this causes inner conflict. Islamically we should understand our emotions which makes it possible for you to manage them.

Try the new app which helps to understand our emotions but also covers the topics covered above www.muslimmoodfit.com

Conclusion: Islam offers a holistic framework for cultivating resilience and promoting mental health. Through its teachings of seeking solace in faith, practicing patience, fostering a sense of community, engaging in mindfulness, upholding positive moral values, and maintaining a balanced lifestyle, Muslims can build the inner strength needed to navigate life’s challenges. By incorporating these principles into their lives, individuals can find comfort, purpose, and strength in their faith, ultimately leading to improved mental well-being.

Want to increase your resilience and connect better with your faith. You can book a counselling appointment

OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) and Islam

OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) and Islam

by | Sep 10, 2022 | Events

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Islam

OCD is also known as “ the doubting disorder” or in Islam known ad ‘Waswas’ meaning ‘whisperings of Shaitan’. Muslims who suffer from OCD will normally relate it to their faith which is categorized as Scrupulosity and affects every day of worship such as wudu, prayer, cleanliness. They will often question themselves have I cleaned myself 3 times, did I miss my raqat, did I do wudu correctly. These are irrational intrusive thoughts that enter our minds.

What is OCD ?

OCD is a type of anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that can be stressful and lead individuals to engage in repetitive behaviors (compulsions) in an effort to reduce their discomfort and ease their anxiety.  Although compulsions might temporarily reduce anxiety, many OCD sufferers claim that both their obsessions and compulsions cause them great distress and frequently interfere with their everyday lives.

If you’ve got OCD, you probably know, or recognize, that your compulsive behaviors and obsessive thoughts are somewhat irrational. However, even so, you still feel like you can’t resist them.

Do you know how the needle gets stuck on a record player playing an old record? Well, OCD sort of works the same way. It causes your brain to fixate on a particular urge or thought, for instance, washing hands until almost peeling the skin off because you fear germs.

Though OCD is frequently misinterpreted or oversimplified as the desire for cleanliness or order due to inaccurate media representation, this can lead to confusion and a lack of support for those who are experiencing OCD. This article will serve as a guide, explaining the causes, symptoms, and treatments of OCD in order to demonstrate how complex OCD is compared to what most people believe.

FACTS

OCD an affect anyone 

About 3% of the people on this earth will battle with this disorder at some point in their lives. People of all ethnicity and culture can be affected, however, certain risk factors can help increase the likelihood of you suffering this particular mental disorder.

What causes OCD?

OCD can stem from a variety of factors. Similar to many other conditions, there may be a number of risk variables present that range from person to person and have varied effects on everyone. Some of the elements that increase a person’s risk of developing OCD include:

  • Family History: Having one or more OCD cases in one’s family may predispose one to acquiring OCD.
  • Biological Causes: One biological issue that may predispose some people to OCD is a problem with neurotransmitters like serotonin and norepinephrine. There is less proof that genetic variables are common in OCD; there may be genes that predispose people to illnesses in general, but no specific OCD genes have been found.
  • Life events– Stress plays the biggest part in the development of OCD. Strong triggers might be produced by situations that make you feel responsible or out of control. Numerous studies have demonstrated that abuse and trauma can trigger the formation of OCD, with compulsions acting as coping mechanisms.

The Symptoms of OCD

 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) doesn’t show the same way in every person, just as OCD has no single cause. OCD symptoms can, however, typically be divided into obsessions and compulsions

Compulsions are the repeated behaviours, carried out in reaction to obsessions. These compulsive behaviours are carried out in order to ease anxiety or avoid a terrifying outcome.  Many OCD sufferers are aware of the unhelpful or unreasonable nature of their behaviours, but they nonetheless feel compelled to carry them out. Common compulsions include, for example:

WASHING AND CLEANING EXCESSIVELY

REPEATIGN ACTIVITIES OR EVENTS

 

The long-term effects of these compulsions are an increase in obsessional preoccupation and the maintenance of the pattern of responses to them, despite the fact that they can temporarily reduce anxiety.

Obsessions are recurring, persistent impulses that enter the mind unexpectedly. Because they are frequently unpleasant, obsessions can make people feel anxious. OCD obsessions frequently have recurring themes, the most prevalent of which are:

CONTAMINATION – The fixation in OCD is the fear of contamination for oneself or others, notwithstanding how frequently it is depicted in the media as obsessive cleaning or hand-washing.

SEXUAL – unpleasant sexual ideas or pictures.

PERFECTIONSIM: a need for accuracy, precision, or orderliness; a need to know or recall for sure.

OCD can cause Anxiety

When dealing with OCD, you might start to experience chronic anxiety because of your obsessive thoughts. Usually, compulsions and rituals are used to help reduce this anxiety and nervousness that has been caused by the obsession. Some of these obsessive behaviors include

 

 

OCD Man washing hands

 

> Counting words, letters or objects

Repeatedly checking your doors to ensure they’re locked

> Rearranging objects to make sure a specific symmetry or order is met

> Doing stuff in multiples, like switching your lights

 

OCD Treatment

Fortunately, there are a number of ways to get treatment. There are therapies wherein you can rely on different therapy methods that work for you. There are also different kinds of medications you can consider. And lastly, there is religion which can be used to help support OCD treatment as well. For instance, in Islamic culture, OCD is viewed in a religious perspective, thus applying religion to therapy. In conclusion, there’s more improvement when this religious therapy is done, but overall, this would depend on the culture in general and a person’s preferences.

OCD responds well to psychological treatments like Counselling/Psychotherapy and Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT) as they address the obsession compulsions and maintenance of behaviors.  Our counsellors can help you through this where you can reconnect with your faith in positive ways.

Wrapping Up

Recognizing the triggers is the first step you’ll need to take when managing OCD symptoms. These triggers are normally the situations, urges, and thoughts that give rise to your compulsions and obsessions. Once you’ve figured these things out when you can start on your road to recovery.

To book an appointment contact us

Muslim Mental Health | Islamic Counselling

Muslim Mental Health | Islamic Counselling

by | Jun 21, 2022 | Events

Muslim mental health, man sitting on peer

Importance of Muslim Mental Health in Islam

Muslims come from a diverse background and experiences. Each has its struggles and obstacles to facing life challenges and maintaining mental health.

However, to maintain a balance, we must understand Muslim mental health, what does Islam say about it, and what are the tips guided by the Quran and Hadith?

Is it necessary to self-examine whether or not an individual has a mental illness, or do they need professional assistance, and how Islamic counselling can help in maintaining mental health?

To obtain answers to all of your questions, please read this article all the way through.

What Is mental Health ?

Mental health by The World Health Organisation (WHO) is our state of wellbing includes of emotional, psychological and social wellbeing.  It informs us us how we think, feel and act. It underpins our we handle stress, relate to others and make choices.

Mental Health with Islamic Perspective

Religiously speaking, a person’s psychological well-being is directly related to that person’s ability to realize religious purposes in the modern world.

Muslims are programmed to lead their lives with specific rules and regulations that ensure salvation after death. Therefore, theologically, mental health is the ability of a Muslim to stay connected to Allah and follow the pathway He has instructed.

Regardless of the hurdles and obstacles, a person faces on his way, he must stay consistent in doing worship of Allah. Moreover, following a pathway leads to encompassing overall well-being and health, which includes:

  • Mental Health: engaging our thoughts. Are we thinking positively and practical? Are we opting for ways to help others around us?
  • Physical Health: maintaining physical health like taking a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and maintaining hygienic conditions.
  • Spiritual Health: our relationship with Allah like praying to Him, asking for forgiveness, and offering His mandatory obligations.
  • Social Health: our interactions and behavior with Allah’s creatures. Are we kind? Or do we hurt everyone’s sentiments?

If you want to achieve calm and composed mental health, you must have a balance in all of the sections mentioned above. Mental health is a liquid. You need to work and explore to find a balance constantly. A balance in our spiritual, psychological, physical, and mental states can help us achieve a successful journey that can transverse our lives.

However, the term ‘balance’ refers differently at different stages of life. For instance, students will be more focused on getting an excellent academic score, or you might find a balance by taking back a step from socialization to recalibrate yourself.

Gaining mental health and stability is not linear. Every person strives for it on their manner. If you cant find balance and consistency in your life, you might need to reconsider your lifestyle to be back on track.

What Can Trigger a Mental Illness?

Mental illness is caused by a multiple of factors and sometimes the mental illness develops gradually and others times can appear when a stressful event triggers it. It can affect the human body emotionally, physically, socially, and mentally.

Some of the triggers of mental illness are:

  • Lack of support and resources.
  • Major life changes.
  • Family stress and conflicts.
  • Experiencing tragedies or traumas in life.
  • Genetics – It can run in the family
  • Drugs and Alcohol

The severity and range of a mental illness vary from person to person. Sometimes, it is non-clinical, and a person can cure it by making minor changes in a lifestyle. However, sometimes, when the clinical threshold is achieved, a person should seek professional help.

Some of the types of mental illness include:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
  • Personality Disorders.
  • Phobias
  • Bipolar

Muslim Mental Health

Spiritual and psychological health is an essential lifelong process widely discussed in Islam. If a person wants to build a strong relationship with Allah, it is necessary to understand a person’s spiritual and psychological functioning and follow the essential mandates of Islam.

Building a psycho-spiritual side of oneself is as important as a person would like to build an academic and intellectual side. Once Sahl bin Abdullah (may GOD be pleased with him) narrated,” if one knows his mind, one also knows his state between Allah and himself.”

The Last Prophet ( Peace be Upon Him) established the base of refinement and development of a good character. To that end, every Muslim scholar and spiritual practitioner focuses immensely on good characterization and psycho-spiritual development.

Moreover, the entire Islamic heritage is filled with positive attitudes and actions. All the messengers of Allah instructed the Muslims to balance their activities, thinking, behavior, and emotional utterance.

Subsequently, the intentional nurture of human behavior contributes to mental illness resilience and acts as a preventive measure against mental illness. Many Islamic scholars emphasize mental health over physical as every Muslim is prone to mental illness, and only a few succeed in escaping from it.

Therefore, a lack of practicing positive behavior and spreading kindness can decrease a psychological strength that may cause unnecessary significant suffering.

Maintaining a Stable Mental Health with Islamic Counselling

Firstly, many Muslims often don’t understand how to maintain mental health and stay positive and composed in their daily routine. You can include the following religious practices in your routine to stay focused and relaxed:

  1. Turn to Allah, worship, and ask for forgiveness.
  2. Stay connected to your loved ones and make a strong bond with them.
  3. Seek awareness and gain knowledge related to mental health.
  4. Make slight changes in lifestyle like take healthy diet, exercise, etc.

However, sometimes, a person practices everything to avoid mental illness, but it doesn’t help. In such a case, it is perfectly acceptable to seek professional assistance.

Tips to Maintain a Mental Health from Quran and Hadith

“Indeed, for every hardship (disease), there’s a relief; with every hardship, there is a relief.” (Quran, 94:5-6)

As mentioned in the Sahi-Bukhari, two gifts given to a human by Allah are leisure and good health. Every Muslim knows that our physical and mental health is Amanah (trust) from Allah, and we have to take the best care of ourselves to return our body to Him in the best condition we can.

Therefore, some tips are mentioned in Quran and Hadith to maintain our good mental health. Let’s have a look!

1.      Be Available for Others to Help Yourself

Being available for your loved ones and the people you know means being generous and kind to them. Whenever you help others, you will feel better. It is also a gift from Allah that He has made you capable of helping others.

The research was conducted at the University of Zurich. It resulted in people with kind and helping hearts having more life span and better health (such as having low blood pressure levels).

Whether it is about spreading smiles, charity, or serving a cup of tea to your colleague, it’s a Sunnah to help others and make the world a better place.

2.      Always have Faith in Allah

Regardless of what emotion is bothering you, whether stress, anxiety, depression, or anger, remembering Allah and seeking His help and forgiveness will always rescue you from troubling thoughts.

However, sometimes it feels that you are praying to Him, but it is not helping. You are not getting desired answers to your questions. To that end, reciting Surah Dhuhaa will help you in these times. This Surah was revealed when the Last Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) was anxious and worried.

3.      Keep Your Focus on Positive Thoughts

When you live in the era of social media, this point matters a lot. People displaying their lives and lifestyles on social media are perfect and glossy without flaws. However, the reality is quite different.

Instead of focusing on what they are showing, count your blessings and positive things in your life. Thank Allah for what you have and what others lack. It will release your stress and make you calm.

4.      Have Faith in Yourself

We don’t always have perfection in life. Sometimes, we are going through tough and demotivated days. There are three things you must do when feeling in such a way:

  1. Put your problems on paper and analyze how to find a solution.
  2. Always take time to destress yourself, no matter how busy your routine is.
  3. Regardless of how much is on your plate and how hard your sufferings are, there will never be more than what you can bear.

Final Thoughts

Maintaining good mental health is necessary for every person to lead a composed life. Every person, at some point, has a mental concern; it depends on you how you cope with the situation. Always connect yourself to professionals and Allah for guidance and courage to increase your emotional resilience and faith.

Never think that your problem is big; always remember Allah is bigger than your problem. He never leaves His follower alone in their time of need.

For your own well being we recommend working with one of our Sakoon therapists. You can book an appointment by going to Get Help now

 

Women of the Year

Women of the Year

by | Oct 13, 2021 | Events

Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam received a global #womenoftheyear award in ‘minorities matter’

After a busy day on Sunday 10th with #muslimmentalhealthconference and on Monday attended lunch in London with Women of the year.

Met some remarkable, amazing, talented women which included TV personalities, Paralympics  gold medal (the medal was heavy) )and also a young lady at 100 who is still active in the community.

 

 

 

 

Ayesha Aslam at Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam at Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with Lauren Rowles (Para Olympics Gold)

Ayesha Aslam with Lauren Rowles (Para Olympics Gold)

lunch at Women of the year

Lunch at Women of the year Ayesha Aslam of women

Ayesha Aslam standing on red carpet women of the year

Ayesha Aslam Sakoon counselling Women on stage women of the year

Ayesha Aslam at Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam at Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with Loarriane Kelly Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with Loarriane Kelly Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with TV personalities women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with TV personalities women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with Anneka Rice at women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with Anneka Rice at women of the year

Ayesha Aslam Sakoon women of the year

Ayesha Aslam Sakoon women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with eldest lady at 100 women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with eldest lady at 100 women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with two ladies at women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with two ladies at women of the year

Ayesha Aslam with personality on red carpet

Ayesha Aslam with personality on red carpet

Ayesha Aslam at Women of the year famous person

Ayesha Aslam at Women of the year famous person

Ayesha Aslam holding Award

Ayesha Aslam holding Award

Mindful Muslim

Mindful Muslim

by | Apr 26, 2021 | General

Dr Zuhra Ahmad and Ayesha Aslam’s pilot research on Mental Health awareness in school aged children using mindfulness was chosen and published.  We were asked to deliver a presentation in Birmingham and we won best oral presentation.

Published in: Archives of DISEASE IN CHILDHOOD, May 2019, Volume 104 Supplement 2

Mindful Muslim

Background:

The prevalence of mental ill health in primary school-aged children is increasing and occurs in up to 1 in 10 children. Mental Health problems cause distress and greatly impact educational attainment, physical health and building social relationships. There is little data on mental health issues in primary school-aged children amongst ethnic minorities. Mental health issues are often unrecognised and not addressed in this population. Mindfulness techniques have been found to improve mental health and well being in children.

Aims:

To increase mental health awareness and teach mindfulness skills to primary school-aged children from ethnic minority groups and break down the stigma associated in using mindfulness within Muslim communities.

Methods:

A prospective, pilot health promotion programme was conducted to assess recruitment rates, prior knowledge and prevalence of mental ill health, and usefulness of mindfulness on primary school-aged children from ethnic minority backgrounds. Children, accompanied by a parent, attended once weekly mindfulness sessions for six weeks over the summer vacation. Self advised questionnaires were completed by parents at the start and end of the health promotion.

Ayesha Aslam Sakoon Islamic counselling on Mental Health awareness
yesha Aslam with Zhur on Mental Health awareness
Ayesha Aslam on Muslim Mindful

Results:

Twenty three primary school-aged children (6.5+-2.1 yr) participated in the pilot health promotion programmer. Children were from Pakistani, Indian and Bangladeshi backgrounds. Parents felt 30+- 22% of primary school-aged children are affected by mental health issues. Seventy nine percent of parents ‘strongly agreed’ that promotion of mental health was important for their child. Importantly, 36% of parents felt their child was currently encountering stress and anxiety or encountered stress and anxiety. Major stressors for children as perceived by their parents included school studies, new situations, parental stress, and relationship with friends and health issues including eczema. The sessions were received well and parents rated the mindfulness sessions as ‘fun’, ‘useful’, ’crucial and a ‘vital skill’.

Conclusions:

Perception of mental health problems in families of ethnic backgrounds varies greatly. Importantly, parents reported that some children have continued engaging with mindfulness skills taught in the health promotion sessions. Further sessions have been requested. More research and mental health promotion is needed in ethnic minority communities. 

Avoid Burnout in Ramadan

Avoid Burnout in Ramadan

by | Apr 24, 2021 | Events, Self Help

Avoid burnout

Avoid Burnout in Ramadan

Ramadan is considered the holiest month for Muslims, a time when they devote themselves to prayer and, of course, fasting. It’s also one of Islam’s Five Pillars, and those who are able to fast, should.

As an integral part of this holy occasion, most Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset and It’s crucial to engage in proper practices to avoid burnout during this holy month.

With that said, how can devotees avoid burnout while they engage in deep contemplation and prayer during this holy month?
1. Have healthy meals.
What you eat can even affect your mood, so you must look after your diet. It has a big role to play in these last twenty days of Ramadan. 

During the month of Ramadan, Muslims only partake in two meals each day – their early morning meal (suhoor) and their evening meal (iftar). It can be challenging to adjust to this since most people are used to three main meals per day, with some snacks in-between and without it you can feel tiredness and lethargic.

To prevent this from happening and reduce the level of tiredness it’s best to eat healthy and light meals during suhoor and iftar. Engaging in a healthy diet during this holy month can give you the energy you need to get you through the day. It can also help you focus on your reflections and prayer.

A healthy diet means avoiding oily food and increasing your intake of vegetables and fruits. You can also increase your protein and complex carbohydrate intake during this time.

2. Avoid drinking caffeine.

Coffee is one of the most popular beverages in the world. It’s considered the perfect way to start the day and serves as a great pick-me-up during the afternoons when everything slows down. Caffeine is primarily responsible for this, and it can offer many benefits for one’s health.

For example, it can boost your energy levels and improve your brain function, although only temporarily. It’s also a powerful antioxidant.

However, consuming too much caffeine can lead to heightened anxiety, increased blood pressure, and digestive issues. Additionally, you can experience headaches and fatigue if you don’t get your regular caffeine fix, which can be difficult while you’re fasting.

In that case, it’s best to avoid caffeine entirely during Ramadan. This will prevent you from feeling fatigued and burnt out during this time. Instead, you can substitute caffeinated drinks with herbal tea, such as mint or chamomile.

Additionally, it’s also a good idea to reduce your caffeine intake gradually next year as Ramadan approaches.

3. Keep yourself hydrated.

Drink plenty of water after Iftar

The body consists primarily of water, so it’s essential to always keep yourself hydrated by drinking plenty of water. This is especially important while you’re fasting during Ramadan, as water can help prevent constipation and improve your overall health.

4. Take power naps throughout the day.

With both suhoor and iftar taking place either early in the day or late in the night, it can be challenging to keep yourself alert and functional during the day. After all, you’ll have to adjust your sleeping schedule during this time.

While this is a small sacrifice to make, it can still leave you feeling exhausted during the day. So, to combat this and avoid burnout, it’s best to take short naps or power naps.

Power naps can help you boost your energy levels, allowing you to tackle your tasks more efficiently, even while fasting. These naps should last around 20 to 30 minutes, just enough time to re-energize you for the day.

If this proves to be impossible in your workplace, you can sit back and shut your eyes for around 10 to 15 minutes. These short naps can help you get through the day and focus on your prayers and contemplations without burning out.

5. Do some light exercises.

Again, it can be almost impossible to maintain a high energy level while you’re fasting during Ramadan. It’s highly encouraged to engage in light exercises throughout the day.

These exercises include light stretches or even simply taking a walk. Not only will this give you an energy boost, but it can also help improve your circulation, keeping you alert even while fasting.

However, avoid engaging in too-strenuous exercises as doing so may result in you burning out even faster. You just need enough physical activity to keep you energized enough throughout the day.

6. Avoid cooking extravagate meals.

It can be time consuming and hard work making extravagant meals for Iftar. If you do this for 30 days you will be burn out. Instead plan your meals in advance something that is light and quick to make. This will be less stressful and also avoids wasting food, in addition it provides you with more time towards your spiritual goals.

So there you have it and I myself have followed the above and so far this Ramadan I have avoided the Pokaras !

Why good men cheat

Why good men cheat

by | Nov 20, 2020 | Events

Why Good Men Cheat

Anyone who has ever been cheated on will know the pain and heart ache cheating can cause.

It can be easy to assume that when infidelity takes place an automatic end to a relationship but it’s not that simple. All is not lost, through marriage counselling you can heal and get your marriage back on track. 

Sometimes we never know if we have been cheated on and I have come across examples where people have cheated for years. One such example where the partner did not find out until 10 years into their marriage. 

There is no single reason why men cheat. This is because there are a lot of dynamics that go into a man’s mind for them to cheat. Cheating and deceiving other people are traits of a dishonest person. When people intentionally distort the truth to deceive others, they contradict the values of honesty.

 

There are several reasons and personality traits that can cause a good man or even a woman to cheat on their partner.

Cheating and Islam

Honesty is not only limited to showing sincerity, but it also encompasses being fair and straightforward. Therefore, cheating, deceit, trickery, and lies are unacceptable. This is what the Qur’an and the Sunnah state about cheating. Whether someone is a Muslim or not, cheating is forbidden.

Once the guidance of Islam is accepted, a person can avoid deceiving and cheating because they are led to the truth. According to the Prophet(saw) of Islam, those who cheat is not part of true followers of the faith.

Muslims believe in the sanctity of love, emotions, and keeping promises towards other Muslims and other members of the society. Because the members are devoted, faithful, and truthful, the idea of deception and disloyalty is far from Islam. Traitors, tricksters, and people who double-cross and swindle are not allowed.

Reasons Why Good Men Cheat

There are several reasons why good men may cheat on their partners. Some of these reasons include:

1. Immaturity

If a person does not have much experience being in a long-term relationship, they are likely to cheat. This is also true if they don’t have enough understanding that all actions have consequences.

Such a person might be under the impression that cheating is justifiable. He might believe that being in a monogamous relationship is something that he can decide upon himself based on the circumstances he is in. In Islam, maturity is expected not only in men but all Muslims.

2. Addiction

Another reason could be that the man has an addiction problem. He could be too dependent on alcohol or drugs that cloud his decision-making skill. As a result, he makes judgments that are regrettable. Another possibility is that his addiction makes him engage in behaviors to avoid reality and make himself numb.

3. Self-Doubt

A good man that cheats may have a lot of insecurities such as being too old or young, not being successful, rich, smart, or handsome enough. Moreover, cheating is often or somewhat linked to mid-life crisis. To boost up his low ego, he may end up looking for validation from other women that make him feel worthy, wanted, and accepted.

4. Lack of Support

Another reason is the lack of social support. Oftentimes, men tend to think that their emotional and social needs can be met by their partner. As a result, developing friendships from other people is not given enough value. If a partner is not able to meet these needs, they resort to cheating. That is why in Islam interacting with others is given great importance.

5. Intense Infatuation

A man might misunderstand intense infatuation to love because of the rush from brain chemicals released during the early stages of love. Therefore, he could be thinking that long-term love can be replaced. He needs to understand that this intense feeling can be overpowered by deeper and more meaningful connections from his long-term relationship over time.

6. Abuse

Another factor that can cause a man to cheat is bad experiences during his childhood. A man, who has hidden and unresolved issues such as being neglected when he was a child or experienced emotional or physical abuse, might find solace in cheating.

When left unresolved, this could affect the way he becomes attached or intimate with other people. This can result in having troubles getting into a committed relationship. Also, he could be trying to alleviate the trauma by having an affair.

7. Selfishness

In Islam, there is no place for one to have selfish desires. However, there are men who just think of themselves alone. Thus, they do not feel any remorse, guilt, or regret when they lie or keep secrets from their partners.

They think that if they get what they want, all their actions are reasonable. Worse, they might never have the intention to stick to one relationship.

8. Being Unrealistic 

A good man with unrealistic expectations may cheat on his partner. Such a man believes that his partner should be there whenever he needs her. This can relate to being selfish since he disregards what his partner is feeling.

The man may rarely understand that his partner has her own life to live and that her world does not revolve around him. When these expectations are not fulfilled, he seeks other women.

You can recover

All is not lost as many marriages can recover through Islamic marriage counselling which every relationship should explore.  The key for reconciling is not only seeking forgiveness but for the other partner to also accept, take a risk, if their partner is remorseful. If you see him taking a genuine active position to create changes in his life, acknowledge/take responsibility for their actions- these are signs for possibilities of change.  It is a two way process to support one other as opposed to attack one another for the healing process to take place that requires time and commitment from each other.

Ultimately, there is no definite reason why good men cheat and the same could be said about women. These reasons tend to change as the cheating habits change. Different life events and circumstances can affect these. Whatever the reason is, there is no justifiable reason why one must cheat on their partners.

Mental Health Suicide Prevention

Mental Health Suicide Prevention

by | Oct 22, 2020 | Events

Islamic Mental Health and suicide prevention

*WHAT EVERY MUSLIM NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT SUICIDE PREVENTION*
 
As the pandemic rolls on, the impact on mental health is increasing. Learn some top tips on how to respond to someone experiencing suicidal thoughts or self harm.
 
????️ 27 Oct, Tuesday
⏰ 7pm GMT
⏳ Approximately 1 hour
????️ Join link: bit.ly/muslimsuicideprevention
 
_Brought to you by a collaboration of Muslim mental health organisations & the MCB_