Events

Women of the Year

Women of the Year

Women of the year

Ayesha Aslam received a global #womenoftheyear award in ‘minorities matter’

After a busy day on Sunday 10th with #muslimmentalhealthconference and on Monday attended lunch in London with Women of the year.

Met some remarkable, amazing, talented women which included TV personalities, Paralympics  gold medal (the medal was heavy) )and also a young lady at 100 who is still active in the community.

 

 

 

 

Avoid Burnout in Ramadan

Avoid Burnout in Ramadan

Avoid burnout

Avoid Burnout in Ramadan

Ramadan is considered the holiest month for Muslims, a time when they devote themselves to prayer and, of course, fasting. It’s also one of Islam’s Five Pillars, and those who are able to fast, should.

As an integral part of this holy occasion, most Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset and It’s crucial to engage in proper practices to avoid burnout during this holy month.

With that said, how can devotees avoid burnout while they engage in deep contemplation and prayer during this holy month?
1. Have healthy meals.
What you eat can even affect your mood, so you must look after your diet. It has a big role to play in these last twenty days of Ramadan. 

During the month of Ramadan, Muslims only partake in two meals each day – their early morning meal (suhoor) and their evening meal (iftar). It can be challenging to adjust to this since most people are used to three main meals per day, with some snacks in-between and without it you can feel tiredness and lethargic.

To prevent this from happening and reduce the level of tiredness it’s best to eat healthy and light meals during suhoor and iftar. Engaging in a healthy diet during this holy month can give you the energy you need to get you through the day. It can also help you focus on your reflections and prayer.

A healthy diet means avoiding oily food and increasing your intake of vegetables and fruits. You can also increase your protein and complex carbohydrate intake during this time.

2. Avoid drinking caffeine.

Coffee is one of the most popular beverages in the world. It’s considered the perfect way to start the day and serves as a great pick-me-up during the afternoons when everything slows down. Caffeine is primarily responsible for this, and it can offer many benefits for one’s health.

For example, it can boost your energy levels and improve your brain function, although only temporarily. It’s also a powerful antioxidant.

However, consuming too much caffeine can lead to heightened anxiety, increased blood pressure, and digestive issues. Additionally, you can experience headaches and fatigue if you don’t get your regular caffeine fix, which can be difficult while you’re fasting.

In that case, it’s best to avoid caffeine entirely during Ramadan. This will prevent you from feeling fatigued and burnt out during this time. Instead, you can substitute caffeinated drinks with herbal tea, such as mint or chamomile.

Additionally, it’s also a good idea to reduce your caffeine intake gradually next year as Ramadan approaches.

3. Keep yourself hydrated.

Drink plenty of water after Iftar

The body consists primarily of water, so it’s essential to always keep yourself hydrated by drinking plenty of water. This is especially important while you’re fasting during Ramadan, as water can help prevent constipation and improve your overall health.

4. Take power naps throughout the day.

With both suhoor and iftar taking place either early in the day or late in the night, it can be challenging to keep yourself alert and functional during the day. After all, you’ll have to adjust your sleeping schedule during this time.

While this is a small sacrifice to make, it can still leave you feeling exhausted during the day. So, to combat this and avoid burnout, it’s best to take short naps or power naps.

Power naps can help you boost your energy levels, allowing you to tackle your tasks more efficiently, even while fasting. These naps should last around 20 to 30 minutes, just enough time to re-energize you for the day.

If this proves to be impossible in your workplace, you can sit back and shut your eyes for around 10 to 15 minutes. These short naps can help you get through the day and focus on your prayers and contemplations without burning out.

5. Do some light exercises.

Again, it can be almost impossible to maintain a high energy level while you’re fasting during Ramadan. It’s highly encouraged to engage in light exercises throughout the day.

These exercises include light stretches or even simply taking a walk. Not only will this give you an energy boost, but it can also help improve your circulation, keeping you alert even while fasting.

However, avoid engaging in too-strenuous exercises as doing so may result in you burning out even faster. You just need enough physical activity to keep you energized enough throughout the day.

6. Avoid cooking extravagate meals.

It can be time consuming and hard work making extravagant meals for Iftar. If you do this for 30 days you will be burn out. Instead plan your meals in advance something that is light and quick to make. This will be less stressful and also avoids wasting food, in addition it provides you with more time towards your spiritual goals.

So there you have it and I myself have followed the above and so far this Ramadan I have avoided the Pokaras !

Why good men cheat

Why good men cheat

Why Good Men Cheat

Anyone who has ever been cheated on will know the pain and heart ache cheating can cause.

It can be easy to assume that when infidelity takes place an automatic end to a relationship but it’s not that simple. All is not lost, through marriage counselling you can heal and get your marriage back on track. 

Sometimes we never know if we have been cheated on and I have come across examples where people have cheated for years. One such example where the partner did not find out until 10 years into their marriage. 

There is no single reason why men cheat. This is because there are a lot of dynamics that go into a man’s mind for them to cheat. Cheating and deceiving other people are traits of a dishonest person. When people intentionally distort the truth to deceive others, they contradict the values of honesty.

 

There are several reasons and personality traits that can cause a good man or even a woman to cheat on their partner.

Cheating and Islam

Honesty is not only limited to showing sincerity, but it also encompasses being fair and straightforward. Therefore, cheating, deceit, trickery, and lies are unacceptable. This is what the Qur’an and the Sunnah state about cheating. Whether someone is a Muslim or not, cheating is forbidden.

Once the guidance of Islam is accepted, a person can avoid deceiving and cheating because they are led to the truth. According to the Prophet(saw) of Islam, those who cheat is not part of true followers of the faith.

Muslims believe in the sanctity of love, emotions, and keeping promises towards other Muslims and other members of the society. Because the members are devoted, faithful, and truthful, the idea of deception and disloyalty is far from Islam. Traitors, tricksters, and people who double-cross and swindle are not allowed.

Reasons Why Good Men Cheat

There are several reasons why good men may cheat on their partners. Some of these reasons include:

1. Immaturity

If a person does not have much experience being in a long-term relationship, they are likely to cheat. This is also true if they don’t have enough understanding that all actions have consequences.

Such a person might be under the impression that cheating is justifiable. He might believe that being in a monogamous relationship is something that he can decide upon himself based on the circumstances he is in. In Islam, maturity is expected not only in men but all Muslims.

2. Addiction

Another reason could be that the man has an addiction problem. He could be too dependent on alcohol or drugs that cloud his decision-making skill. As a result, he makes judgments that are regrettable. Another possibility is that his addiction makes him engage in behaviors to avoid reality and make himself numb.

3. Self-Doubt

A good man that cheats may have a lot of insecurities such as being too old or young, not being successful, rich, smart, or handsome enough. Moreover, cheating is often or somewhat linked to mid-life crisis. To boost up his low ego, he may end up looking for validation from other women that make him feel worthy, wanted, and accepted.

4. Lack of Support

Another reason is the lack of social support. Oftentimes, men tend to think that their emotional and social needs can be met by their partner. As a result, developing friendships from other people is not given enough value. If a partner is not able to meet these needs, they resort to cheating. That is why in Islam interacting with others is given great importance.

5. Intense Infatuation

A man might misunderstand intense infatuation to love because of the rush from brain chemicals released during the early stages of love. Therefore, he could be thinking that long-term love can be replaced. He needs to understand that this intense feeling can be overpowered by deeper and more meaningful connections from his long-term relationship over time.

6. Abuse

Another factor that can cause a man to cheat is bad experiences during his childhood. A man, who has hidden and unresolved issues such as being neglected when he was a child or experienced emotional or physical abuse, might find solace in cheating.

When left unresolved, this could affect the way he becomes attached or intimate with other people. This can result in having troubles getting into a committed relationship. Also, he could be trying to alleviate the trauma by having an affair.

7. Selfishness

In Islam, there is no place for one to have selfish desires. However, there are men who just think of themselves alone. Thus, they do not feel any remorse, guilt, or regret when they lie or keep secrets from their partners.

They think that if they get what they want, all their actions are reasonable. Worse, they might never have the intention to stick to one relationship.

8. Being Unrealistic 

A good man with unrealistic expectations may cheat on his partner. Such a man believes that his partner should be there whenever he needs her. This can relate to being selfish since he disregards what his partner is feeling.

The man may rarely understand that his partner has her own life to live and that her world does not revolve around him. When these expectations are not fulfilled, he seeks other women.

You can recover

All is not lost as many marriages can recover through Islamic marriage counselling which every relationship should explore.  The key for reconciling is not only seeking forgiveness but for the other partner to also accept, take a risk, if their partner is remorseful. If you see him taking a genuine active position to create changes in his life, acknowledge/take responsibility for their actions- these are signs for possibilities of change.  It is a two way process to support one other as opposed to attack one another for the healing process to take place that requires time and commitment from each other.

Ultimately, there is no definite reason why good men cheat and the same could be said about women. These reasons tend to change as the cheating habits change. Different life events and circumstances can affect these. Whatever the reason is, there is no justifiable reason why one must cheat on their partners.

Mental Health Suicide Prevention

Mental Health Suicide Prevention

Islamic Mental Health and suicide prevention

*WHAT EVERY MUSLIM NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT SUICIDE PREVENTION*
 
As the pandemic rolls on, the impact on mental health is increasing. Learn some top tips on how to respond to someone experiencing suicidal thoughts or self harm.
 
🗓️ 27 Oct, Tuesday
⏰ 7pm GMT
⏳ Approximately 1 hour
🖥️ Join link: bit.ly/muslimsuicideprevention
 
_Brought to you by a collaboration of Muslim mental health organisations & the MCB_