Abuse, Shame and Honour

Abuse, Shame and Honour

Below is a summarised version of events. Client’s permission has been granted to publicise the information without revealing their identity.

A mother of two with a daughter aged 10. Client came to us due to increased stress and time management concerns. 

During course of therapy she revealed she was sexually abused at 10 and this was the first time she had ever opened up after 30 years, her increase in stress was due to her concerns and fears that the same thing might happen to her daughter who had just turned ten.

The client was abused by her cousin in Pakistan, she informed her uncle who took advantage and also abused her. She informed her mum only to be told that she could not tell anyone and to forget about it. Traumatised by her events she grew up in fear and not being her true self.

There were many other issues that was explored in the sessions

Cultural Childhood

Attitude “seen not heard”

Brush issues under the carpet

Izzat/reputation important value in her family  Reason why kept abuse a secret!

In therapy explored difference between culture and religion. Islam states Abuse is wrong haram and she was unaware of this.


Not knowing who she was, she only knew how to fulfil her roles as mother, a daughter,  a wife and in therapy we built on her own identity and confidence in herself.


She was unable to dress up and always wore dark loose clothes and believed she will be abused if dressed up in any form or even applied makeup. She liked my headscarf and I allowed her to feel and touch it. I could see the smile on the clients face as this was the first time she felt feminine.

We looked at Islamic Female Role models and how to be feminine in the bounds of Islam and feel safe.

Honestly say she is now not haunted by her past, a confident woman and living her life! Alhumdulilah.